Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?

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(412): Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline? http://tfl.nu/g8m6

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.

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(717): If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone. http://tfl.nu/j92l

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(727): View more from Florida

I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.

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(727): I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut. http://tfl.nu/wfck

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(813): View more from Florida

Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.

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(813): Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message. http://tfl.nu/p8es

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(678): View more from Georgia

He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.

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(678): He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went. http://tfl.nu/yfsi

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(419): View more from Ohio

She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye

(319): View more from Iowa

Wasn't she moving abroad?

(419): View more from Ohio

Are you really going to debate this?

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(419): She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye (319): Wasn't she moving abroad? (419): Are you really going to debate this? http://tfl.nu/djv0

Replies (85) Good night (1471) Bad night (5406)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.

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(859): make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through. http://tfl.nu/bvv7

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(845): View more from New York

no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.

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(845): no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion. http://tfl.nu/fs9l

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(712): View more from Iowa

They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.

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(712): They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some. http://tfl.nu/oeo3

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(438): View more from Quebec

I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.

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(438): I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning. http://tfl.nu/ev9g

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(661): View more from California

I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it

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(661): I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it http://tfl.nu/7h1l

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(410): View more from Maryland

You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days

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(410): You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days http://tfl.nu/jiwq

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(+32): View more from Belgium

we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump

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(+32): we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump http://tfl.nu/362x

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(440): View more from Ohio

im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.

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(440): im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know. http://tfl.nu/c5k4

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(801): View more from Utah

Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?

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(801): Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way? http://tfl.nu/h6qu

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