I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize