absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
