Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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