I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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