I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
