I cannot find my penis.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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