I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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