You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
