Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
