Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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