On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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