It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
