Your dad touched me again.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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