dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
