now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i would punch a child for taco bell
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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