My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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