Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
