there's paper in my vomit.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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