I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
