He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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