we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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