my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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