i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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