you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
