her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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