I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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