big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
