Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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