Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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