Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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