You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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