i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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