Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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