Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize