4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize