pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
