Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it wasn't lemon gatorade
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
