Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
