Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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