You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize