Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
