I puked a lego.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
