gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
