Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
