he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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