your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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