Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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