What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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