I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
