a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
