would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
