Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
