4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
