And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize