I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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