Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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